he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
