From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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