I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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