ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize