how can u be prego again
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the condom got lost in my hair
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
foreskin is a definite game changer
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
