And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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