You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
someone owes me an orgasm
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
