spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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