let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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