That's intense
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
