So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
