When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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