were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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