Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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