He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
