okay pat passed out under dana's car
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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