using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
