I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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