he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
