Already got asked if we're dating
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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