Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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