this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I need moral support for this bender
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
