hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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