clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
