If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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