what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
