Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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