why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
