just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
