What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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