Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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