so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
