Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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