I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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