apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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