Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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