she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
