Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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