if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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