Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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