you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
