I haven't been this sober since birth.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
