Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
