Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Houston, we have a squirter
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
