I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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