I think I died a long time ago.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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