we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
