After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
