I cockslap morals
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
