walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
