im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
