we're blogging at a bar
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
