my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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