All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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