I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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