i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
