Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
did you just send me my own nude
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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