So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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