talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
