Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
