They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
