"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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