Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
